The Journey is….pain.


They call me “weird”, but I don’t care.

Today, Grace asked me to hold her….so I did.

I gathered her in my lap & wrapped my arms around her…even closing my eyes & breathing in the moment.  What does this feel like, what does it smell like…how do I feel at this exact moment.  I would say that I am trying to mentally take a photograph of the moment to cherish.

Later, Jessica said, “Hey mom, want to come see my powerpoint presentation?”  I was busy, but I stopped because…I really DID want to take 5 minutes of time to enjoy her presentation.  That moment brought me great joy.

It seems I do that a lot lately.  Making my family stop…pause…savoring the moment.  They say, “You’re weird”, and we laugh…but I do it anyway.

After my Butterfly Lesson (where I realized the way I dealt with all pain in my life was by ignoring it), I now see pain everywhere I go.  If interested, you can read some of my observations about pain by clicking  here.

It’s similar to buying a new vehicle.  After it’s purchase, you suddenly notice that many people own the same car.  A fact that had eluded you before.

I’m not IN pain.  I’m just aware of it more.

It seems the more that I am aware of pain…the more I am able to appreciate JOY.

A fellow blogger, Grief: One Woman\’s Perspective ~ Perceptions on life after the death of a child, & I were discussing this somewhat the other day. I don’t think she would mind me sharing her words.  This was her comment on my blog about \”Olivia\”:

“Ohmigosh! My heart just breaks for this little girl…and for the way I see some parents treat their kids. I just want to get in their faces and say, “Don’t you know what a precious gift you have?”

My husband was in a store one time when he overheard a little boy ask his dad if he could have a toy. The dad responded, “I don’t think you’re even worth it.” My husband stopped, bent down, and said to the little boy, “You ARE worth it!! I think you are very worth it.”

I can’t help but think…There HAS to be another way to cherish the simple joys of life, all the many things we have been blessed with…all the moments we have to be thankful for, the people we love the most!  Surely accepting pain, is not the path to true thankfulness!  But for me, in my own life…that seems to be the reality.

What do you think?   I’m not sure how I feel about this yet.

So, for now…if you see me at my favorite park, just sitting there in the wind with my eyes closed.


You give me a hug…and I don’t let go right away.

I’m just taking a picture.

Savoring the moment.

Being thankful.



*Disclaimer:  I DO believe that pain is the enemy if it takes over our lives.  I do believe that the devil would like nothing more than for us to sit in sorrow & die.  My own experience is, that the Lord takes us & walks us through the pain.  He finds a way to miraculously do “surgery” on us, taking the “sting” away.  During that process…just keep moving forward!  Keep breathing.  Keep doing the right thing despite your feelings.  You can trust that the Lord is leading you to Victory!


Before sharing this blog with you all, I asked my dad what he thought about it.  He said that he thought I was wise, & that I should share it.  Here is part of our conversation that followed:

Thanks daddy…but what do you think about the concept that acknowledging pain is the path to true thankfulness.  It seems the more pain I see…the more grateful I am…TRULY GRATEFUL & thankful for my blessings.  I just think there HAS TO BE be another way to feel thankful than through pain.

To which he answered:

The short answer is, no there is not.  Its only through pain that we really know joy and thankfulness.  We never understand our blessings, until we have the pain to weight them against.  How can you know sweet, unless you know bitter?  In our modern culture, people do everything they can to avoid or deny pain, which is precisely why they are so unappreciative of the blessings their lives are filled with.  Its pain that tears away our illusions and allows us to see Life clearly.  One of the things we discover in the process is that we are not the center of the universe.  That sole discovery opens the gates of our eyes and soul to begin to understand the marvelous wonders and blessing Father has surrounded us with.  It may sound odd, but it is the presence of pain (of all types and most of it bittersweet) that keeps our eyes and soul open.  It is the pain in our lives that allows us to have the freedom to laugh and enjoy our lives.

I think he’s pretty wise himself 🙂

So what do you think?  I would love to hear your thoughts!


6 thoughts on “The Journey is….pain.

  1. Wonderful Julia. From someone in physical pain 24/7 but has faced 2 miscarriages, divorce & the other woman, the loss of loved ones, etc. Seeing pain as a way to cherish every special moment has been a lesson learned the hard way. I am glad you shared your thoughts because this topic is very dear to me. Especially concerning our children. Every single moment of life…both ours and theirs…matters. Each one is a gift from God. I still fight days of depression one step at a time but I have learned to breathe in the joy of life one step at a time as well. Yesterday was filled with the gift of a tissue paper rose from my beautiful daughter and hugs from my amazing (and growing) son.

    • GROWING! YAY! Praising the Lord with you for that one for sure!

      Another friend has said that to sum this post up, you could just say SURVIVOR! You have fought the battle and won!

      That’s what you are Tania…a survivor! I believe your days will just get better & better!

      …and the love of your children…priceless gifts…

      • Thank you Julia for sharing my praise. God is good and has given me such joy through something most people take for granted. It is sad to see kids grow up so fast…but to see them grow is a gift from God in itself.

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