Smiling as I watched the busy little girl at the table next to us. Up and down in her chair, talking & talking AND TALKING!…while the rest of the family sat basically in silence as they finished their meal. The restaurant was full of people, but she caught my eye. With her dark hair & almond eyes, she looked nothing like the rest of her family. I assumed that like me, she was probably adopted. My mind wondered as I thought back to my own childhood….Thinking that this little family had a likeness to my own as a little girl. She continued fidgeting & talking…and asking for ICE CREAM over & over.
Then the likeness to my family suddenly came to a halt as I heard the mother speak these words: “Don’t make me wish we hadn’t got you!”
I kept waiting for the rest of the sentence. Surely I heard her wrong!!! I kept thinking….“FINISH THE SENTENCE!”
Don’t make me wish we hadn’t got you….that big sandwich…that HUGE drink…that nasty, stinky, dirty pet hampster…SOMETHING…………ANYTHING!
But, NOTHING. That was it.
Simply, Don’t make me wish we hadn’t got YOU.
I was SO MAD! I wanted to revoke that mom’s parenting license! I could literally feel my blood pressure rise…I had to make myself relax…or risk ruining the whole meal with my own family. How did the little girl respond? What did she do? Nothing. The mom hurriedly grabbed her by the arm & rushed her around the restaurant….out the door they went. She was too young to understand those words…today.
So…to give her the benefit of the doubt…I will say, maybe that mom doesn’t realize the power that is held in the words that she speaks to her child. Maybe…she even had similar words spoken to her as a child.
So since I will likely never see her again…I’ll take a minute here & to talk to that little girl. Maybe she’ll read this one day, let’s just call her “Olivia” (I just love that name):
It was so nice to see you today, you were the most precious child in that restaurant today. I enjoyed watching as you filled the place with sunshine! I’m sure you’ll learn to sit still long enough to eat lunch one day…and that ICE CREAM!!! I know! It’s hard to eat an old boring sandwich when they have all that delicious ICE CREAM just wating for us to enjoy!!! Someday you’ll be a grown up…then you can eat dessert first if you want(that’s what I do sometimes)!
I am so sorry about what your mom said today. I hope she stops! You know, us moms aren’t perfect…we often say things that we don’t really mean when we’re frustrated. Many times, we just repeat what we heard said to us when we were kids.
Olivia, you’re going to find in life that LOTS of people are going to say many hurtful things to you. You know what? Just because they say them….THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT TRUE!!! For example: If I say, “Olivia….you are a ROCK. A great big, gray, mass…a boulder.” You’re not going to be sad and think, “Well, it must be true. I’m a rock…because Mrs. Julia said so.” You’re not going to be sad and cry because now you just have to sit on the side of the road for the rest of your life, watching the cars drive by. You’re going to think…that’s silly. Mrs. Julia is so wrong…I’m a person! You will just move on, forgetting about what I called you…
So your mom has said…”Don’t make me wish we hadn’t got you”.
What do YOU think about that? How does that make YOU feel? I’m guessing that makes you think that you are unwanted, that nobody loves you. That if you don’t do everything just right, you are unlovable. I just want to make sure you know, just because they said it and just because that’s how you feel….that doesn’t make it true.
Olivia, you were handcrafted by the Lord Jesus Christ himself! YOU ARE who God says you are! This is what He says…He says that you are Created in His image! Filled with His LIFE! God created you because He wanted to fellowship with you. He IS Love…and that love lives in you and flows out of you. You ARE here on this earth at this moment, for a specific purpose! You are loved. You are wanted.”
Your life will bless many, I know it already blessed mine!
To all the parents that are reading this, I would say: You chose to have them…you chose to keep them….or in this case…you chose to adopt her as your own. Children are precious gifts from God…NOW CHOOSE to love them every minute of every day. Make sure they know they are wanted…cherished ♥